Love that Gives me Life
by HoshiToYume
Summary: Sequel to "Love of my Life" - Usagi has to live without Seiya and deal with her destiny... her duty as Neo-Queen Serenity.
1. Prolouge

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sailor Moon or any of it's characters**

**AN: Sequel to "Love of my Life" - Usagi returns to Earth after rescuing and living in a dream with her love, Seiya. **

Usagi knew she shouldn't keep thinking about Seiya but it was difficult. Everything reminded her of him and when she thought about her duty… it was even worse. She had always felt trapped her destiny – ever since she was 14 years old, Usagi discovered that everything was mapped out for her. At the time, she found it comforting to know that she had a promising future… like she had a purpose to life. But now that she was more mature, she realized that she had followed a path charted not by herself, but by destiny and it was like she had no influence on her life. Things would be as they had seen it and she couldn't even deviate slightly from the plan.

Ever since she met Seiya, Usagi had always wondered what her future would be if she chose him. But back then, she always dismissed such thoughts quickly since she loved Mamoru. Were it not for Fighter's coma, Usagi would never admit her feelings for Seiya. And she would certainly never end up in the dream where she experienced true love… a love that was liberating and felt like life itself. Usagi had never felt that when she was with Mamoru – they were together based on their past lives and for their destiny. Yes, she loved Mamoru, but her love for him never felt free… the Princess had to be with the Prince.

She was trapped...

'But I had to come back… I have a duty to fulfill and a galaxy to protect.' Her thoughts always ended with her duty. Seiya and Usagi both knew their responsibilities which is why he chose to let her go and why she had to leave… they could never be together in reality. If by some miracle they did, there would be no telling what the future will ensue. Usagi knew that very well… but still, she couldn't help but feel… defeated.


	2. Chapter 1

For the first few days, Usagi would simply lie in bed and cry over the loss of her love. She refused to let anyone in and even asked Luna to stay somewhere else for the time being. Every night she fell asleep wishing she could visit her dream again, but every morning she woke up crying from a dreamless sleep.

It wasn't until Healer and Keeper's time to go that she allowed them in to say goodbye. But they were horrified by the state she was in – the usually bubbly girl with the beautiful shiny golden hair was a mess. She left her hair down and it had lost its usual shine; it was also obvious that she had not eaten in days. Her big cerulean eyes were red and puffy from crying all day and tears were still stained on her face. Usagi sat up when they came in and she stared blankly at them. As she looked at all her friends who had gathered to see her, they saw that her eyes were dull and lifeless.

"Usagi!" Rei pushed into the room and hugged Usagi. The others had told those who did not go to Kinmouku what had happened. But Rei found it hard to believe that her friend who was madly in love with Mamoru before could change so quickly… that is, she didn't believe until she saw her today.

Usagi flinch violently at Rei's touch and gently pushed her away. Like with the other Sol Senshi, Usagi remembered her but refused to trust her again. From her perspective, she had spent the last 48 years only needing to trust Seiya and no one else. So now in her real life, she still held on to that feeling especially since they were trying to force her into her so-called destiny.

Rei took a step back to look at her friend, who avoided her gaze. The fire senshi bit her lip as Healer put a hand on her shoulder.

Healer voice was uncharacteristically kind, "It's probably better if you leave for now," though she was speaking to Mars, the comment was directed to everyone.

Haruka spoke quietly to avoid frightening Usagi but everyone noticed the anger in her voice, "Who are you to tell us to leave?"

"Leave." Usagi spoke quietly but made sure it was still loud enough for everyone to hear. Her friends were reluctant but they knew that Usagi didn't want to talk to them and thought it was best to leave for now.

Healer sat on the edge of the bed and gently placed her hand on Usagi's. "Can Mina stay?" She was relieved to see that Usagi had not flinched or taken her hand back. Usagi was staring blankly at Mina who smiled back warmly. She remembered that Mina had tried to defend her on their last night in Kinmouku. Usagi knew that Mina, like the Starlights, understood how she felt and would not force her to follow her destiny if they had a choice. So she nodded to Mina's relieve.

Healer thought it would be best if Mina was here, being that she was the only one in the group who supported Usagi's feelings. "How are you doing?" She asked meekly and instantly regretted it as Usagi's eyes glazed over in a sort of trance.

A pained whisper interrupted the long silence. "If Fighter hadn't told me to, I would never have left."

Puzzled by her words, Healer asked, "What did she tell you?"

Remembering that she had company, Usagi slowly turned to face Healer, "That night… in the gardens, Fighter told me to leave because we both have a duty." The three nodded, "When you guys stepped back, she quietly told me that the night before, she had a vision."

Healer and Keeper exchanged worried looks - it was extremely rare that Starlights had visions. It was even more peculiar that Fighter had one regarding another galaxy when it does not involve any of the Starlights; it was almost unheard of. Both Starlights had arrived to the same conclusion, 'Someone must have deliberately shown it to Fighter.' As Healer, Mina, and Keeper waited for Usagi to continue, they realized that she had slipped back into her thoughts. "What did she see?" Mina spoke up, bringing her back to reality.

"She said she saw the Sol senshi's past lives and future – Crystal Tokyo. At first, she didn't really believe it though. But after hearing everything Uranus and Mercury had said to me…" Usagi sighed, "she knew it was true. She told me that I have a bigger purpose in life and that we could never have a future together in reality because of our duty." Tears were streaming down her face again as she let her emotions run free, "I didn't want to leave! I only did because Fighter told me to! She's so stupid! How could she do that to us!?"

Mina quickly hugged her and tried to soothe her friend, "Usagi-chan," she kept her voice low and calm, "Seiya loves you very much. I can tell that she wasn't thinking about duty when she told you to leave." Usagi pulled back to face Mina with a confused look. Mina merely smiled back, "Seiya saw you arguing with your friends and she knew it hurt you so much to do it. So she made a decision for you."

Usagi sniffled, "If they are my friends, they wouldn't do this to me." The three noticed something that flashed across her face, but dismissed it since her features immediately returned to her dazed one. "Everyone wants me to fulfill my destiny… my duty…"

"Usagi-san…" Healer whispered out of concern as the life faded out of Usagi's eyes.

She stared blankly at the one who called out her name, "I guess I have no other choice but to fulfill my duty now." Mina, Healer, and Keeper felt her light dim but knew she was right – there was nothing else they could do.

Realizing that it was getting late, Keeper finally spoke. "Usagi-san, Healer and I must get going." She merely shrugged as Healer glared at her thinking that Keeper was being insensitive. But one look at the pink-haired Starlight's face, Healer knew that she was right – there was nothing more they could do and it was time that they left. Healer sighed.

Usagi turned her head back to face the Starlights, "Take me with you." Although she knew that it was futile, Usagi still had to ask.

"Sorry Usagi-san." They knew she would ask that. Healer looked away and sighed – she wanted to help but she couldn't... they couldn't interfere with the affairs of another planet. The room was quiet for a moment until Healer, Keeper, and Mina whipped their head at what they heard next.

Usagi spoke softly, "Then kill me." Tears were forming in her eyes again. She decided that life without Seiya was not worth living… it was unbearable. "I know we both have our duty as senshi but now that I'm here, without Seiya, I regret it. I regret not fighting harder to stay. I can't do this – I can't carry out my duty as a Princess, I can't forget him and everything that happened between us."

"Usagi-chan…" Mina sniffled.

"I can't live without him." Usagi smiled weakly as she remembered her life with Seiya, "I've already lived my life. Even if it was just a dream, it felt real." She stared dreamily into the room as she spoke slowly, "I remember our first kiss, our first date, our wedding, our first night together," her hand moved unconsciously to her belly, "I remember Hikaru… I still remember how it felt when he kicked for the first time and when I held him after he was born." Her eyes refocused and she wiped away a tear that threatened to fall, "I wanted to spend my life with the one I love – my husband Seiya. But now… it seems like death is my only escape." She smiled at the three people in her room, her eyes pleading them to fulfill her wish.

Mina jumped on Usagi to hug her as she cried loudly onto her shoulders. She could hear Usagi beg into her hair as she patted her back so as to comfort the crying blonde, "Please Mina." Mina refused as she shook her head violently.

"Sorry Usagi-san," Healer was trying to hold back tears as she clenched her fists tightly, "you know Fighter would kill me if I did. She's so violent." She chuckled feebly in hopes of cheering up Usagi. The petite blonde's lips merely twitched.

Keeper looked away to hide the tears that formed in her eyes. She didn't know Usagi very well, but still couldn't believe that the Savior of the Universe was begging for death or that her friends did nothing but continue to hurt her. She knew it was their duty but still… it felt wrong. 'I would never do that to my own Princess if I truly love her.'  
Keeper didn't notice that Usagi was quietly observing her. 'Chibi-Usa… my duty.' Keeper's appearance had always reminded Usagi of her future daughter and she couldn't help but feel a tinge of… spite. Over the past few years, Usagi realized that Chibi-Usa had a huge influence on her decision to follow their destiny. And ever since she discovered her feelings for Seiya, she felt guilty… Guilty for loving another man and guilty for putting her happiness before the life of her future child. Usagi wondered if she would feel guilt if she had never met Chibi-Usa. 'Chibi-Usa… my future child.' Usagi sighed, 'Hikaru… I miss my son.'

Healer looked regretfully at the dazed Usagi, "We must get going now."

After a while, she finally replied. "Please come back and visit." She looked from Healer to Mina as she pulled the latter off herself. She stroked Mina's tear stained cheeks but the statement was directed at Healer, "She'll miss you when you're gone."

Healer nodded curtly and left with Keeper. Usagi convinced Mina to send them off and she watched all of them leave her room. She was alone once again. Usagi sank back into her blankets and drifted off to sleep, hoping to dream about the world she created with Seiya.

****Please review****


	3. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks for the reviews! Hope you'll like this new chapter :)**

"Ne Usagi-chan," the two girls were sitting in Usagi's room. Mina suddenly smiled at Usagi, "I've never told you this, but I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself." Her smile widened at a shocked Usagi. Mina hugged her knees to her chest and spoke with her head resting on it, "I really am. Usagi-chan I love you more than anything and I would sacrifice anything and everything for you. But now I realize that we were all blindly following a destiny that no one would be truly happy in. Yes, it would be a peaceful one but then… we can't follow our dreams. You know for me, I always wanted to play volleyball, be famous, and find love," she scoffed quietly, "I gave up volleyball when I became Sailor Venus. And in that future, my destiny was to be alone and be the leader of the senshi. But now," Mina turned her head and smiled at Usagi, "at least I feel like I can have a different dream and be with someone I love."

"Someone like Yaten?" Usagi spoke softly as she ran her pale hands down Mina's hair. She felt the other blonde nod and it made her smile. Knowing that Mina understood how she felt, Usagi's heavy heart was lifted slightly… 'I'm not completely alone.'

* * *

Everyday Mina would check up on Usagi and try to drag her out of the house. Some days she was successful, but most of the time the two girls would end up staying in Usagi's house.

"Everyone misses you." Over the past few weeks, Mina would occasionally mention their friends but she also showed Usagi that she didn't want to force her into their destiny; Mina was very delicate when she brought up the topic. All this time, Mina had respected Usagi's wishes not to invite anyone else to visit her and Usagi appreciated it.  
"Usagi-chan?" Mina was very careful as she spoke one afternoon. Usagi looked at her questioningly, "Can Mako-chan and Hotaru-chan come visit you?" Usagi tensed as she thought about it, imagining them talking about her destiny. Then she frowned – she realized that the two had rarely mentioned anything about that before. In fact, during the battle with Galaxia, Saturn had practically approved of Seiya's love for her despite being Chibi-Usa's best friend. And as for Mako… 'Mina must have a good reason for inviting her specifically.' So Usagi agreed, much to Mina's relief.

* * *

A few days earlier, the Sol senshi had gathered at Hikawa Shrine to discuss Usagi's unchanging condition. Knowing that their princess refused to see them, they could only constantly remind Mina of her 'duty' and to stop babying Usagi. Mako had stepped in to defend Mina and Usagi.

"It's not Mina's fault! And I don't agree that we should force Usagi-chan to do anything she doesn't want to do!" The lightening senshi clenched her fists tightly to control her anger. The thought of them hurting Usagi sickened her; even if it was for duty, she couldn't stand it anymore.

"So we should just let everything we've been working for go to ruin?" Rei shouted back. "It hurts us to see her like that too, but we have to build Crystal Tokyo to protect the Solar System!"

"And what about Chibi-Usa if Usagi doesn't marry Mamoru-san?" Ami whispered. Setsuna sighed – she knew the future had already changed but hoped that they could convince Usagi to follow the original destiny. In fact, she had hoped that once she showed Seiya the vision on Kinmouku, he would 'remind' Usagi of it. 'After all, what better way to persuade her than from the words of her lover…'  
Michiru was quietly keeping an eye on Haruka in case she lost control. But it was unnecessary as Haruka had been unusually quiet that evening, controlling her temper as she listened to everyone's shouts. The two lovers agreed that Usagi belonged with Mamoru but they couldn't forget their last night on Kinmouku… they couldn't forget the heartbreaking cries of Usagi and Fighter.

"We are pushing her away by acting like this." The room went quiet as the young Hotaru spoke, "Seiya-san has earned my respect when he fulfilled his promise to protect Usagi-san. So I will not stop them if they choose to be with each other, but I will not stop you guys from your duty as well. And Chibi-Usa," It was difficult for Hotaru to think that she would never see Chibi-Usa again, but she knew what she said was true. "will not want to see Usagi-san like this." Her voice was laced with pain as she imagined a life without her best friend.

"This is crazy!" Rei screamed, earning a glare from Haruka. Haruka did not take lightly to anyone who yelled at Hotaru but Rei didn't care… she was too angry to be scared by Haruka. "I can't believe you guys are saying this now!" She huffed and stormed out of her own room. Everyone else left the shrine shortly after.

* * *

"It's been a while Usagi-san." Mako smiled brightly at her. Mina, Mako, and Hotaru sat around Usagi's kitchen table. "I brought your favourite strawberry shortcake!"

"Thank you Mako-chan." The other girls would see that even the weak smile Usagi gave them was a fake smile – It was a smile that she wore to convince others she was fine. "It's delicious." Usagi had taken a small bite of the shortcake before her eyes glazed over… it had reminded her of the ones she use to share with her _husband_. She absently set her fork down and stared blankly at the cake, reminiscing. Everyone had noticed she stopped – Mina recognized that Usagi had relapsed into her memories. Usagi always had the same face and the same twinkle in her eye when she spaced out, and it happened often… too often.

"It's good right!?" Mina had made it a habit to bring Usagi back to reality each time she was in one of her 'trances'. She knew that Usagi would tear up from the memories if she didn't pull her back. But each time she brought her back, Mina saw the life fade from Usagi's eyes.

Usagi nodded slowly, "Just like I remember."

"Eat more then! I made a whole cake just for you!" Mako tried to sound cheerful, "I haven't cooked you dinner in a while Usagi-san! How about we have dinner together tonight?" When they saw her today, Mako and Hotaru had noticed how thin Usagi had gotten. Mina had already explained that Usagi barely ate anything. But they were glad as Usagi smiled weakly and nodded.

"Ne Usagi-san," Hotaru had been quietly eating her cake since their arrival, "may I brush your hair later? I've always wanted to do it but you always had your hair up before." Whenever she was depressed, Michiru would give her a make-over to boost her self-confidence so Hotaru hoped that it would help Usagi too. Hotaru gave Usagi a winning smile, in hopes that the girl would agree to her request.

Usagi's hair remained dull and Mina had offered to do Usagi's hair a few times but she was denied. Usagi didn't really care about her hair anymore… she couldn't bring herself to put it up in the style that her _husband_ loved. But seeing the smile on Hotaru's face… she couldn't refuse. And so the girls chatted for a while longer; Mako made Usagi's favourite dishes for dinner and after, Hotaru braided her long golden tresses. None of them had mentioned anything about Seiya or their destiny – it was just 4 girls hanging out tonight. Usagi felt a little safer.

Mako and Mina had taken Usagi out more often over time. They would laugh and shop; it seemed as if Usagi was recoving. But they didn't realize that Usagi had decided just to look happy to appease her friends. She appreciated that they were trying to help her but life was meaningless to her now… 'No, this isn't my life.' Tsukino Usagi was just a lifeless shell of Princess Serenity. So Usagi continued each day enduring life just so her friends won't worry about her anymore.

But the more Usagi went out, the bigger the risk of her meeting the other senshi. They had accidentally met Ami and Rei a few times and over time, the five girls would hang out once again. For the first little while, Ami and Rei were careful not to not to mention anything with regards to their destiny or Seiya. But as the weeks went by, they subtly hinted to Usagi that she and Mamoru should get back together. Usagi had picked up on all their hints each time but chose to feign ignorance, much to Rei's frustration.

* * *

About a month from Usagi's 22nd birthday, just before her previously planned wedding, the five girls were sitting in Fruits Crown Parlor after a long day of shopping.

"Usagi," Rei eyed her carefully, "what do you have planned for the future?"

'To marry the one I love,' she was deep in thought as she stared at her cup of tea, 'To spend time under the stars with the man I love. To have a child with the man I love. Oh wait… I already did all that. They took it away from me.' Usagi had become increasingly bitter at those who forced her into their predetermined destiny.

"USAGI!" Rei shouted to get her attention.

She looked up blankly at the screaming girl, "What?" the coldness in her voice did not go unheard.

Rei ignored it; she was tired of Usagi's behavior. "I'm talking about your future as Neo Queen Serenity!"

"Ah…" Usagi quietly sipped her tea. Everyone held their breath waiting for her to respond, but she never did. Usagi had the mind of a 69 year old, so she knew when to keep her composure.

Realizing that Usagi was never going to answer her, Rei slammed her fist on the table, "Stop being so selfish and do your duty as a princess, Usagi!"

Mako had stood up, ready to defend Usagi but she was stopped, "Thank you Mako," she smiled at the lightening senshi as the latter sat back down. Turning back to Rei, her smiled dropped. "What would you like me to do then?"

Glad that Usagi was willing to listen to her, Rei calmed down to reply, "Your wedding is coming up in a month and we've already planned most of it for you. You just need to pick a wedding dress."

Mina and Mako looked incredulously at Rei and Ami. They couldn't believe that they had planned out Usagi's wedding without even knowing if she would agree. Rei ignored all the looks they gave her while Ami seemed as she would love nothing more than to disappear.

Usagi closed her eyes and sighed deeply, "Any dress is fine." Her answer irked Rei, but she kept calm since Usagi was going through with the wedding.

Mina and Mako were shocked at Usagi's answer – they never thought she would marry Mamoru anymore. "Usagi-san, are you sure?" Mina whispered, worriedly.

"No," she set her tea down, "but it looks like I have no choice." She tried to smile at Mina and Mako as she got up to leave. "Besides, my _husband_ doesn't want me to fight with my so-called friends." She walked gracefully away from the table and out the door, leaving behind the group slightly stunned.

"I hope you're happy." Mako whispered bitterly. She and Mina had tears in their eyes when they saw how defeated Usagi looked despite how calm she kept her face. They left the café without another word.

Ami was shocked as to how mature Usagi had gotten. Although she still felt awful about putting her friend through all this, she never thought Usagi would agree to the marriage. Ami felt ashamed, unworthy of being a friend after seeing how lifeless Usagi had gotten. 'I'm so sorry Usagi-san but this is the only way to preserve our peaceful future.'

Like Ami, Rei believed that Mamoru and Usagi needed to be together. But also, she couldn't bring herself to admit that what they had believed and worked for before was all for nothing. 'She'll learn to love Mamoru-san again.' Rei told herself that so many times that she almost believed it. It was the only thing that kept her from feeling guilty about forcing her friend into their duty.

* * *

Usagi wandered into a park and leaned over a railing and gazed out over the lake. Her long golden hair was down and swayed loosely with the breeze. 'It's been almost a year since I saw you. I hope you still love me because I still love you. I'll love you for eternity…' A single drop of tear ran down her face but she didn't notice. Her face was so accustomed to having tears run down it everyday that she no longer felt it.

She was lost in her thoughts. So lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice the sun begin to set just like how she didn't notice the person walking up behind her.

"Oi, didn't you hear me? I've called you so many times Mina." Usagi whipped around when she felt someone flick the side of her head.

Her eyes widened in surprise, "What are you doing here?"

It was Yaten.

****Please review****


	4. Chapter 3

**AN: Hey! Sorry it took so long to update... I edited so much stuff. Anyways.. Thanks for the reviews (reason why I changed a lot of stuff) and I hope you'll enjoy this new chapter! :)**

"Usagi-san!?" Yaten was surprised, "It's been a while." He smiled warmly at her.

"What are you doing here?" The shock of seeing Yaten had made her forget about everything for a moment.

He smirked, "You told me to visit remember?" He winked at her slyly, as if hiding something. "Thought I might check up on you later but I guess I found you." One reason that Healer had snuck to Earth was to check up on Usagi and see if the senshi would let her return to Fighter. Although better than Usagi, Fighter was nevertheless distraught without her and Healer couldn't stand to see her friend like that. For several weeks after the Sol senshi departed, Fighter had been working non-stop, as if trying to occupy her mind with her work. Everyone was concerned about her mental health… and soon, her physical health too as she started to skip meals. Even a brief break for her would cause her to reminisce about the life she created with Usagi. But when she fainted from exhaustion, Princess Kakyuu had relieved Fighter of any major Starlight duties. Fighter had protested but ceased immediately after a long emotional talk with her compassionate princess. Since then she still worked odd jobs around the palace, but it was still apparent to everyone that Fighter was depressed even a year later. Unlike Usagi, Fighter had the support of everyone and tried to work hard to repay their kindness. Still… without Usagi, she was lost.

"Thank you Yaten." Usagi smiled genuinely for the first time in a year. It was comforting to her that Yaten was here – the usually cool and aloof Yaten considered her a friend and made the effort to visit. "I just left Mina, I don't know where she is now."

Yaten looked at Usagi strangely, as if trying to determine something. Usagi noticed and asked what he was doing. "It just occurred to me how much you look like Mina. Although you're thinner… too thin Usagi-san." Yaten frowned. Usagi had lost a lot of weight, her bones were more prominent and her shirt hung loosely on her. "But I just thought of something." He raised an eyebrow to examine her more and answered her questioning look shortly, "Maybe I could disguise you."

"Disguise me to look like Mina?"

He nodded, "They'll probably kill me if they found out though."

Then it finally struck her what he was talking about and her face broke out in a huge grin. "Let's do it! When can we go?"

"Usagi-san, I'm not talking about kidnapping you because they'll fight us to bring you back and we can't have that." Yaten frowned and spoke seriously, "I meant that if in the future you wanted to visit us, I can smuggle you out for a short period of time. I know it's not a good solution, but I thought you might want to at least see Seiya once in a while."

Usagi was crestfallen – she had hoped to run away forever. "There's no escaping this is there?" She gazed out at the lake again and Yaten followed suit.

"Sorry. That's the best I can offer for my two friends."

Usagi closed her eyes and smiled, "Thank you." She looked up at him and smirked, "When I pretend to be Mina, you don't get to do touch me the same way you touch her though."

Yaten blushed furiously and cleared his throat, "Don't know what you're talking about." Usagi giggled at the flustered Yaten. "Don't want Seiya to kill me anyways."

"How is he?"

"Depressed. He mopes around everywhere." He hesitated, "I have a feeling he's trying to find a way back into his coma."

Usagi turned to face him, "Has he found a way?"

Yaten didn't know if he should be worried or angry about the excitement in her voice, "No! You guys are crazy! That's not a good solution."

Her face dropped and she looked away again. "It's the only way we can be together." A single tear trickled down her face as she whispered softly.

Yaten sighed. "Usagi-san," he hated seeing his friends hurt, "we still don't know what caused the coma. Don't you remember Fighter's condition when you guys arrived on Kinmouku?" Yaten and Usagi both cringed at remembering the sight of the pale, corpse-like Fighter in the hospital bed. "Maker is working hard to discover the cause and prevent it from happening again. You guys might not wake up next time if it does happens again."

"I'd much rather die in there than live here." She shrugged as if her statement was nothing.

"I hope you're not still asking people to kill you."

"Might do it myself on my wedding day."

He looked at her with concern – he couldn't tell if she was joking or not. Yaten was troubled when he saw that her face remained impassive, "Usagi-san…"

"Don't worry." She knew she had scared him even though she had seriously considered her statement, "I'll find a way out of this… somehow." He knew she was only patronizing him but there was nothing he could do to comfort her. Usagi noticed how uncomfortable Yaten had gotten and changed subjects, "What's going on with you and Mina?"

Yaten merely shrugged, "Just seeing where this goes." He had never admitted that he had any kind of feelings for Mina. Unlike his fellow Starlights, Yaten knew that Usagi wouldn't tease him about it. But still… he couldn't admit it. it was as if saying it aloud would make him face reality… a reality where he could never be with Mina since they were both bound by duty. "We can never be together though."

"Mina use to wish that she was just an average schoolgirl with ordinary happiness." Usagi sighed and remembering that it use to be her wish too. "Sometimes I wonder why it had to be us. But I guess if it isn't us then it would just be another person." She scoffed.

Yaten looked at the twilight sky and smirked, "None of us would be friends and I definitely wouldn't have talked to you Usagi-san." They both chuckled at his comment. Although the sight of Yaten reminded her of Seiya, Yaten was still a great comfort to her. Though slightly nicer, his sarcastic attitude was… refreshing. Usagi had missed it – she realized now more than ever that everyone else had been over sensitive around her and because of that, it constantly reminded her of the love she lost. 'Perhaps this is what I need.' Even if for a short time, Usagi was glad that she had a friend who could help her feel the hope she had forgotten so long ago.

The two talked through the whole night about a variety of things, never again mentioning Usagi's situation. When morning arrived, Usagi watched as a golden-green light streaked across the sky, returning to Kinmouku. She sighed and headed home to sleep. 'Will I see you tonight Seiya?'

****Please review****

**Sorry it's so short. **


	5. Chapter 4

**AN: Enjoy! **

"Mamoru-san, isn't it time you spoke to her?" Rei huffed.

The senshi, except Mina and Mako, had once again gathered at the Hikawa shrine to discuss about the upcoming wedding. And as usual, Rei was badgering Mamoru to visit Usagi.

Ever since he left Kinmouku almost a year ago, Mamoru had yet to see his fiancée. He knew that Usagi had fallen in love with Seiya and had yet to forget about the Starlight. Although he wanted everything to return to the way things were, Mamoru was kind and understood that he was probably the last person Usagi would want to see – he knew that she needed space and didn't need him to remind her about their future together.

"Probably…" was always his answer. But he never made any indication that he was going to follow through with his words. Yes, more than anything, he wanted Usagi to love him again. But he understood her pain all too well… after all, he was in a similar situation as well. Similar in a sense that he too felt trapped in their destiny. At times, Mamoru had dreamed of being someone other than a Prince, free from his pre-ordained destiny. There was no doubt that he loved her, but still… he felt as if he had no choice in his future either. Mamoru always knew he wanted to be with Usagi and would give up everything for her. But sometimes… a very small part of him wondered if his past life as Endymion was the reason he loves Usagi… after all, Endymion and Serenity were in love before and being the reincarnated Endymion, Mamoru would still have those lingering feelings.

"You always say that." Rei sulked, clearly irritated by his answer.

His eyebrows twitched, "What do you want me to do? Even if I see her, I can't change how she feels." He sighed. He hated feeling hopeless and worst of all he hated how the whole situation had strained everyone's friendships. "There are some things that cannot be changed and there are some things that once changed, it cannot return to the way it use to be."

Knowing that what he said was true, no one spoke for a while.

Michiru cleared her throat to catch everyone's attention. "Mamoru-san," her melodic voice was gentle, "what will you do if Usagi-san chooses not to wed?"

Haruka turned to face her lover with a frown on her face, clearly disturbed and confused as to why she would ask such a question. Michiru bit her lip, slightly regretting her question. But continued as she answered everyone's confused look, "I know we have a duty to create Crystal Tokyo, but lately I've been wondering," she breathe deeply before continuing, "why are we fighting so hard to protect something that our Princess doesn't want anymore? Without her light, it won't be the same."

"Michiru!" Haruka's loud voice interrupted her.

Michiru remained calm, "Haruka, you can't tell me it doesn't hurt you to see her like this. I know our duty is to create Crystal Tokyo and this Solar System, but it is also to our Princess. So how can I fight one and neglect the other." Haruka stared speechlessly – it was as if Michiru knew what she had kept hidden in her thoughts all this time. 'Then again, Michiru could always read me like a book." Haruka sighed and gazed out the window, contemplating.

"You just expect her to be with Seiya then?" Rei was shaking in fury at her words. "We all gave up so much for our destiny." Her eyes flashed briefly at Mamoru. "Ever since we discovered our past and our future, we worked hard for it. We gave up our lives for it. So how can we just let it all fall apart now?"

No one except Ami had noticed how Rei glanced at Mamoru and she knew what the fire senshi meant – since discovering their true identities, Mamoru had left Rei to be with Usagi. Although Rei no longer loved Mamoru, she still resented the fact that it had ended with no explanation other than destiny. From then on, Rei made sure Usagi remained with Mamoru… as if to ensure that her loss of Mamoru's love was not in vain.  
Ami understood very well how it felt to give up everything for their duty – she too lost someone she loved and knew her dreams would not come true if they continued to follow their destiny. Deep in her heart Ami knew that if Crystal Tokyo was to be fulfilled, she could no longer become the doctor she always wanted to be. Over the years, although she tried hard to live a normal life, she always knew she would have to forsake her dreams… and she had learnt to live with that fact. But what Ami didn't expect was fall in love – she had fallen in love with Taiki. Her heart had ached for the Starlight ever since they left but she had always tried to forget about him. Ami knew that they would never have a future together and that thoughts of him would just cause pain. So unconsciously she locked away her heart, convincing herself that peace was more important than anything. 'Everything we sacrificed will be worth it if it means peace.' Although she told herself that everyday, Ami would still wonder if things would be different between her and Taiki if she hadn't said those things on Kinmouku. The disgusted look she received from Taiki during their last encounter had crushed any hope of them ever being together… if there was any hope in the first place. 'I did the right thing… Crystal Tokyo is our utopia. But still… could things have been different?'

Ami sighed loudly at her inner turmoil and decided to simply forget about what could have happened and focus on the situation at hand. "Crystal Tokyo is our duty and the only future we know for certain that brings peace in our universe. It is our duty to protect the universe." She sighed once again, "We just have to remind Usagi-chan of it."

"I think that's the problem Ami-chan." Mamoru gave her a weak smile. "She will only see it as her duty and nothing more. She has lost the ability to love. And if a Princess cannot love her friends or even her Prince for that matter, the future will not be a happy one."

Snapping out of her daze, "Well we can't just sit here and do nothing!" Haruka pounded the wall. "I'm going to talk to her." She stood up to leave but was promptly stopped by the girl that suddenly clung to her torso.

"Haruka-papa please stop." Tears were swimming in Hotaru's eyes and it pained Haruka to see her daughter like that. "Please don't hurt her anymore. There's nothing we can do to change how she feels and if you force her, it will only hurt her more."

"Hotaru," Haruka ran her hand through Hotaru's thick black hair as she spoke gently, "I know you approve of Seiya and Usagi. But you have to think about how this will affect her in the long run. They can never be together because he has to remain on Kinmouku and she has to stay here. It will hurt her more if we let her continue like this." Since returning from Kinmouku, the Outer senshi had only seen Usagi briefly a couple of times. And every time Hotaru had expertly steered the conversation away from anything related to their destiny or made an excuse to leave with Haruka and Michiru.

"Please Haruka-papa," the young girl pleaded into the wind senshi's chest, "What if people said you can't be with Michiru-mama. How would you feel? Won't you be even more sad if your friends don't help you?"

Haruka and Michiru were shocked at Hotaru's words… she never ceased to amaze them. By drawing a parallel, she had clearly explained to them how Usagi was feeling – they too would be angry and lost without each other.

Haruka wrapped her arms tightly around the sobbing girl at her chest, "Hotaru. I understand." Michiru had noted that her lover had not mentioned not going to speak with Usagi – It was only a matter of time before Haruka paid Usagi a visit. "But you must also understand that the galaxy does not depend on us… it depends on our Princess."

"That's so unfair." Hotaru whispered softly as she pulled away from Haruka, clearly angry at the response she received. "Everyone should be free to choose what they want for themselves. People should be together because they want to be, not because it was predetermined. And Usagi-san deserves to choose who she loves more than anyone." Keeping her head down, she walked quickly out the door. Michiru was also slightly disappointed with Haruka's attitude and how she would be willing to sacrifice Usagi's happiness. She left to chase after Hotaru and Haruka followed them shortly.

"She'll come around." Rei spoke softly; her voice was strong but the lack in confidence in her words was apparent. "Everything will return to the way it should be."

"I hope so." Setsuna stood up and disappeared back to the Time Gates.

As Mamoru walked home, he thought about what would happen the next time he saw Usagi. He knew that she would not love him again and that she only returned to Earth for her duty as a Princess. 'What can I do to help you Usako?' He sighed at the challenges that he would face in the near future… after all, he would have to see her in a few weeks time during the rehearsal dinner for their wedding.

* * *

"Where were you?" Maker had stormed into Healer's large room. But instead of finding her female comrade, she found a male Yaten climbing in through the balcony window. Clearly flustered from being discovered, Yaten hurried in through the window, almost falling on her face as she tripped on the threshold. "Why are you in that form?"

"I… I… got bored." Yaten stammered and quickly transformed back into Healer. "Anyways, don't you knock!?"

Eyeing her suspiciously, Maker nevertheless decided to drop the matter as she sat down on the bed, "Fighter went to see Princess again."

"Doesn't she get tired of being rejected?" For the last several months, Fighter had constantly asked their Princess if she could visit Earth before Usagi and Mamoru got married – she wanted to see her Odango one last time before she became someone else's wife… perhaps to get some closure. Nevertheless, Princess Kakyuu had denied her request each time stating: "We were requested to never visit again. The Outer Senshi will stop us if we are discovered entering their system."

But Maker hadn't heard Healer's unsympathetic response – she was carefully, yet subtly, studying her friend's expression. 'She's definitely up to something.' But Maker's quietness caused Healer to look quizzically at her, "What?"

Maker hesitated before deciding to just ask her, "You're up to something aren't you?"

"I…" Healer was lost for words. 'Why can she always tell?' Healer scowled, "I can never keep a secret can I? Mou Maker… can you stop being so smart?" The two Starlights giggled slightly before Healer's expression turned serious again, "Think about what Princess Kakyuu's words. Think carefully Maker."

Maker frowned deeply as she tried to understand what Healer was hinting at. Being a genius, it didn't take her long to realize but she continued to frown. "Are you sure that's what she meant? Maybe you're just over-thinking it."

Healer smirked, "Don't be jealous I got it before you." It earned her a hard slap across the back of her head and she clutched it gingerly. "Baka! I was just trying to help that idiotic love-sick fool."

Maker smirked, "I can't believe you're actually trying to help." Then she hesitated as realization dawned on her, "Is that what you've been doing all the times you disappeared?" Healer merely nodded as she now started to rub her sore head. But the mischievous smile she gave Maker answered the genius Starlight's next question. Maker's smirk turned into a warm smile, "We're going to be in so much trouble."

Little did they know, their Princess had heard the two Starlight's whole conversation. Maker had neglected to close the door when she barged into the room so Princess Kakyuu had stood quietly outside to eavesdrop when she heard the two of them talking. She was initially on her way to console Fighter… again… when she heard them. And after hearing all that she needed to know, she smiled and headed back to her own room. 'I hope this will cheer you up Fighter.'

****Please review****


	6. Chapter 5

**AN: Thanks for the reviews!  
Just wanted to give special recognition to one reader who has sent me an extremely detailed review! Thank you so much for your insightful feedback**! **I'm actually seriously touched! **

**But doesn't mean I don't value anyone else's reviews! I really, really do! Thank you guys so much :)**

**OK ENJOY!**

Two days before her wedding, everyone had gathered for a rehearsal dinner. They all noticed Usagi to be lost in her thoughts more than before. Just this morning, she had remembered that she had not yet bought a wedding dress so the girls rushed off to buy her one. Usagi had merely picked the first white dress she saw and they left it at that, even though some of them were frustrated by her nonchalant attitude.

Tonight was the first time Mamoru had met up with Usagi since waking her from the dream on Kinmouku. He had decided not to see her so as not to force the issue and gave her space and time to sort out her feelings. To his dismay, nothing had changed. After a few minutes, he could tell that Usagi only treated him kindly out of politeness, not love… she didn't love him anymore. Usagi only saw him as a friend and appreciated that he did not force his opinions on her like a few of the senshi.

Mamoru and Usagi stood up to give a few toasts.

"Thank you all for coming," Mamoru started, "we're glad you could all make it here tonight. I'm happy that in a few days Usako and I will wed," Usagi flinched at the sound of that name, "To our bright future together!" He saw her flinch and didn't know what else to say so he finished abruptly. No matter what future they had, Mamoru knew that Usagi wouldn't be happy. It hurt him that she didn't love him but it hurt him even more to see her in so much pain.

"Thank you for coming." She raised her glass and plastered on a fake smile, "May our union bring YOU joy." She paused and her face lowered slightly. The sarcastic words had slipped through her lips before she could stop it and she felt guilty for saying… it was almost as if she was blaming everyone for her misery. Usagi knew it was their fault that she is here in this position, but she realized she didn't do much to stop it herself either. Her arms lowered slightly, 'Perhaps I should be nicer since Mamoru is being so patient with me. I don't love him but I'm hurting him even more by being so mean.'

The senshi had all caught the bitterness in Usagi's words aimed at them and they felt guilty. But they chose to ignore it when they noticed that Usagi had disappeared into her thoughts again… they could practically feel the life slowly drain from Usagi. Mina leaned across the table and tried to catch her attention by whispering at her. 'If I don't stop her soon, she'll start crying.'

"Usako," Mamoru whispered beside her. Startled, she flinched violently upon hearing that nickname again and she spilt her drink all over the table.

"Sorry," she slowly set her glass down but made no attempt to wipe the drink from the table as she stared at it, "I'm tired. Goodnight everyone." She ran quickly from the hall and out into the dark night.

* * *

Usagi ran to the place she usually found solitude – the bench where Seiya first spoke to her. Somehow, she always felt closer to him on this bench… as if he was still on Earth. And everytime she sat there she felt as if he would suddenly appear and surprise her, just like he did when they first met.  
Sitting with her knees to her chest, she looked at the stars and started crying again. 'Seiya I can't do this. Please come back to me. I hate this… I hate all of this.' She buried her head in her knees. She felt hopeless as the darkness crept up on her... but she welcomed it since it was the only place that allowed her an escape from everything and everyone, especially her destiny.

It was getting chilly since she was only wearing a thin strapped gown. Her long golden hair wrapped around her but it provided little warmth. She ignored her shivering body as she tried desperately to be taken into oblivion. Suddenly she felt someone slip a jacket around her shoulders. She turned to look right into the eyes of Haruka. The wind senshi had no troubles following her when she left.

Haruka sat down beside her and looked up at the stars when Usagi returned her attention to the sky, "Usagi," she remembered never to call her Koneko-chan again. However, the use of her real name made her feel the distance between her and her princess, "I'm sorry."

"Why? It's your duty." Her voice was expressionless.

"It just hurts to see you like this."

"You still did it and now I'm away from the one I love so you're not actually sorry."

Haruka frowned. She hadn't seen Usagi up close since they came back so it hadn't occurred to her as to how miserable the blonde had gotten. But now she could see how thin Usagi had gotten, how dull her eyes had become, and the thick layer of make-up that hid her puffy eyes. "I'm not sorry for fulfilling my duty. I am sorry for not being a better friend and finding a better way to deal with it."

Usagi turned to face her and smiled… it was a cynical smile, "You're getting everything you want now so be happy." She slipped off the jacket and handed it back to Haruka, "Thank you."

The wind senshi stood up, took her jacket and looked regretfully at her princess. "I really think our future can still be a happy one Princess. We just all have to trust each other again... as friends." Usagi thought carefully as to how she would respond.

'If we are really friends, then please let me go.' Usagi wanted to tell her that but she couldn't, especially not in front of Haruka. "Your duty will always come first. Trust was always lacking between us. It's why I didn't tell you everything before and why I can't tell you anything now." She closed her eyes briefly and opened them to look at Haruka. She saw the despair on the older woman's face but Usagi never changed her impassive face. "I don't know how to trust you guys anymore, but I understand that it is your duty." She looked back at the stars, "So in our future together, we will be nothing more than Princess and soldier. Bound by duty only…" She trailed off thinking about how bleak that future would be and how empty everyone would feel. 'Seiya will hate me for becoming like this…' But she couldn't help it… surrounded by people who forced her to leave her love, pushing her to another man with nothing more than the excuse of duty, it broke her. Knowing how it felt to live a perfect life then having it ripped away her abruptly, it left a hole in her heart and it only ate away her life as time went on. It had changed her drastically.

Haruka noted the finality in their friendship and a tear ran down her face, "I don't know how to serve you like that."

Without thinking, Usagi responded, "You don't have to if you don't want to then." Usagi had stood up to leave; she just wanted to be alone. "If you want to be released from your duty then I will give you your freedom." She left without looking back.

Watching Usagi walk away, Haruka felt defeated – she lost her Princess and a friend. She let the tears fall freely from her eyes as she continued to stand, fists clenched. Yes, she had fulfilled her duty as a senshi… 'But was it worth it? Did I do the right thing?'

* * *

It was a long while later when she arrived at Hikawa Shrine to meet with the other senshi and Mamoru. Seeing her lover's face and tears, Michiru ran over to hug her. Haruka embraced her tightly, sobbing quietly into her lover's shoulder. Everyone knew then that they had truly lost Usagi if Haruka had broken down like that.

"What happened?" Michiru spoke as gently as she could while stroking her lover's back.

Haruka pulled away and sat down on the floor, leaning on a wall; Michiru sat down next to her and placed her hand over Haruka's hand. Staring at the ceiling, Haruka whispered. "She said we're no longer friends, just Princess and soldier. She doesn't trust us anymore." She felt numb from all the pain, "She will release us if we don't want to serve her anymore."

No one dared speak – they didn't know what to think of it. They had fought together and died together and now, Usagi was willing to throw it all away.

Mamoru pinched the bridge of his nose and cringed, "Usako…"

"Couldn't we just let her go back to Seiya?" Hotaru was sniffling quietly. She had always sought comfort from Usagi, but this past year had been awful. Her light and the warmth it brought had faded… and thus, the Usagi they knew no longer existed. "Ever since the Starlights left, I could feel Usagi's light fading. And when she returned from Kinmouku, it was almost gone." She held her hands over her chest and closed her eyes as if trying to remember the warmth of Usagi's light. "Usagi-chan is the light that guides us and without her light, we are lost – we have lost sight of ourselves and our hope." She had opened her eyes to scan the room and her eyes lingered on a few of the senshi as she spoke, "That is also why we have strayed from each other, no longer united. We need to help her… support her. And right now, Seiya is the only one who can bring her light back."

Setsuna shook her head. "We have been through this many times. Usagi-san has accepted her duty as a Princess and Crystal Tokyo is needed for the future of the Solar System." She bit her lip – although what she had said was the truth, Setsuna knew she was being selfish given that her main reason was to protect Chibi-Usa, even at the cost of Usagi's happiness. She loved the pink-haired girl too much to let her cease to exist.

"It's not much of a future if she's like this." Mako retorted angrily.

Pluto could not respond… she couldn't see the future that they were heading into with all that has happened. The future had been clouded from her – with all the confusion and darkness, the future is uncertain and remains a mystery to her. She was only able to see Crystal Tokyo clearly because at the time, Usagi and Mamoru remained devoted to each other. But that was only one of many possible futures. And with Usagi's current state, the future is uncertain. Pluto hoped that if Usagi remained with Mamoru, at least Crystal Tokyo would be built and Chibi-Usa would be born… even if it was forced. 'Everything would be back to the way it was… I can't let Small Lady die.'

Mina sighed and finally decided it was time to tell everyone, "Usagi wants to die. She said her life feels complete and she just wants to die. If we continue like this, I'm afraid she might try to kill herself."

Gasps were heard around the room.

Rei yelled, "How can she just let the whole galaxy fall apart because of a dream!?"

"It's not a dream," Mina kept calm, "It's love. She lived as Serenity in the past and she lived in her dream. Now that she had the chance to experience love with Mamoru and love with Seiya, she chose Seiya – the one she truly loves. We took her away from her love so she feels empty and can't love anything anymore." She put it in more blunt terms, "Serenity loves Endymion but Usagi loves Seiya. She didn't ask to be Serenity and certainly not for this life."

"None of us did!" Rei retored.

"Then she's more than willing to let you go free Rei." Mako yelled back but immediately started crying, "She's still going to be our Princess. Our future will be nothing but duty just as you forced it on her."

"Setsuna," Mamoru turned to face the time senshi, "how will the future be affected if Usako and I don't marry each other but we still build Crystal Tokyo. I'm sure she will agree to just be co-rulers not bound by marriage." Since the last meeting, Mamoru had thought hard about alternative solutions. He had concluded that ruling together, not as a married couple, was the most feasible plan. That way, Usagi can still choose to love whoever she chooses but still fulfil her duty as a Princess.

Most were astounded by Mamoru's proposal – they couldn't believe that he would do that. Setsuna chewed her lower lip slightly, "It is unheard of but not impossible. But there will be no heir to the throne and Small Lady will not exist." Setsuna loved the girl so much and hated that they were willing to give her up.

Mamoru had thought long and hard about his beloved future child before making the most difficult decision of his life, "Chibi-Usa will not want Usako to be like this. If she is born she will be born into a world without a mother's love, a cold world with no love or friendship." He sighed. Mamoru loved his future daughter, but knew this is for the best, "I don't know what else to do. I don't think Usako will ever love me again. And if she releases all of you as senshi then we will be defenceless."

All of them knew what he said was true. And after all, how could they disagree with their Prince when he offered a possible solution to their problem.

They all agreed to speak to her the next day.

****Please review****


	7. Chapter 6

**AN: Thanks for the reviews guys! Enjoy this new chapter :)  
**

_She woke up in the dark. 'Can this be?' Getting extremely excited, Usagi stood up and looked around. 'It's just like where I found Seiya. But this time it feels… slightly different.' She called out her love's name into the dark void, hoping to hear his voice in response. _

_It was like what happened every night… hoping but never receiving. _

_Until now… "Odango?"_

_Her head whipped towards the sound and her face brightened at the sight of the one she longed for. Cerulean eyes sparkled happily as it met midnight blue eyes that twinkled at the sight of her, both tearing up. Without hesitation, she ran into his welcoming arms and buried herself as deep as she could into his chest. _

"_I missed you so much." Both sobbed out at the same time, causing them to chuckle. _

"_How did we get here?" Seiya pulled away only enough so that he could see his wife's beautiful face. Though he was worried about the changes he saw, he didn't question it when he felt the happiness radiating from her. _

"_I don't know. I've been wishing to come back here all year. We're here now, but it feels different from before. Different… yet… familiar." Her face scrunched up as she processed everything and her hand moved unconsciously from Seiya's waist to her... Usagi shook her head as she snapped out of her thoughts. "Anyways, it doesn't matter. I'm here with you now but we don't have long. Seiya I love you so much. I still love you!" Usagi rambled out all her feelings, "I never realized what true love really felt like, not even when I was with Mamoru. I was just feeling what Serenity felt. But now I know the one I love is you, Seiya Kou. I'm getting married tomorrow but you're the one I want to be with. My life is nothing without you."_

_Her words had brought tears to his eyes as he caressed her face. Looking deeply into her determined eyes, he whispered, "I love you too Odango. I think about you every minute of everyday Mrs. Kou." He smirked weakly but suddenly turned his head, "Did you hear that?"_

_But just at that moment, Usagi was distracted as well. She heard something that Seiya hadn't. _

RING RING

"_What was that?" She returned her gaze to Seiya's face. "Seiya…?"_

_He frowned to concentrate on the sound he heard, "Someone's calling for me." _

"OI FIGHTER! GET UP NOW!"

"_That voice…" Seiya looked at Usagi again – both of them were sad knowing that they were about to lose each other all over again. "Odango, we have to leave now." He choked on his tears but willed himself to continue, "I know Mamoru-san will take care of you. He loves you." He knew she didn't love Mamoru and it was killing him to know she would be in the arms of another, but at least Seiya would know she would be safe – Seiya knew Mamoru would continue to protect her.  
But Usagi merely shook her head violently as she cried into his chest. "I don't want to leave!" But she flinched as she heard ringing again. She tried to ignore it._

"FIGHTER! Wake up otherwise you won't get there in time!"

"_Goodbye my Odango." Seiya started to fade as he held her, "My love… my light." _

"_Seiya!" She bawled loudly as he disappeared, leaving her alone in the darkness. Usagi hoped to remain in the dark void, clinging to the hope that he would return. She heard the ringing again and she too… faded back to reality. _

Usagi was notified to meet everyone at the shrine, much to her reluctance. For one thing, it woke her up from the one place and the one person she longed for. But she also didn't want to be lectured about destiny and about her outburst from last night… Usagi only went because she felt she owed it to Mamoru, the one who had called her.

"Yes?" She saw that everyone was in the room already – no one had left last night. All eyes were on her as she entered. Usagi was not in a good mood... she didn't bother with greetings and continued to stand by the door, waiting for an answer as to why she was here.

"Usak- Usagi," Mamoru realized from last night that she was uncomfortable with that name, "we came up with a proposal."

"For what?" She spotted Haruka and assumed that the wind senshi told them about their conversation. She sighed and smiled as wide as she could stretch her lips, "Shouldn't you guys be happy that I'm giving you freedom? I thought you would appreciate it."

"Usagi listen to me!" Mamoru raised his voice slightly and cleared his throat when he saw her fake smile drop, "I thought we could co-rule instead of getting married. I know you don't love me anymore so I don't want to force you into a marriage."

She looked blankly at him, "Thank you Mamoru-san, but we need an heir." She sighed again. Thinking about Seiya's words, she softened her tone. "I do appreciate that you thought of an alternative solution but nothing will change. I don't mind getting married…I have accepted it as a duty." She heard what she said and frowned, knowing that it had hurt his feelings – she just told him that he meant nothing more than duty to her. Usagi felt horrible since Mamoru was nothing but kind to her. She smiled briefly, "Mamoru-san, I may come to love you again." Usagi knew it wasn't true – she could never love him the same way again, but it was what everyone wanted to hear and what Seiya had asked of her.

He saw right through her act, "But…"

"Chibi-Usa needs to be born." She couldn't help but start to resent her future child. It was always because of her that Usagi was forced to do things she didn't want to – Chibi-Usa was always such a brat and only sweet-talked Usagi when she needed something. 'Would things have been different if we never met her?' Usagi's thoughts drifted to her _other_ child and she sighed, 'Hikaru was the perfect child. He was never obnoxious or disrespectful and the boy was extremely charming… just like his father.' Usagi clutched her hands over her chest as she clung desperately to the warmth that started to grow in her heart – Hikaru had always brought a sense of joy and pride to Usagi. Unlike Chibi-Usa, Usagi could never stay mad at him, if he had ever even gotten in trouble. For a moment, Usagi wondered if she loved Hikaru more than Chibi-Usa. 'Hikaru… what I'd give anything to see you one more time. We never had that dinner together before we left.' She lowered her head to hide the tears that began to form in her eyes.

Usagi felt soft hands brush her cheeks and she lifted her head to face a pair of watery purple eyes. "Usagi-san?" Hotaru wanted to comfort her and she wasn't afraid if anyone chastised her for what she was about to say, "Chibi-Usa-chan would want you to be happy. She would want you to follow your heart and believe in yourself… whichever path you choose, she will understand." Hotaru sniffled and closed her eyes as she rested her forehead against Usagi's forehead. "I believe in you Usagi. Our future will be fine as long as we have your bright shine to guide us. You are our light of hope. Don't let the light fade away." The young girl smiled lightly as Usagi wrapped her arms around her. Hotaru rested her hands on Usagi's back, running it down the golden hair that flowed freely around them. She whispered quietly so that only Usagi could hear her, "I miss your warm light."

"Small Lady is the official heir to the throne of the Silver Millennium." Setsuna looked sternly at the two girls as she finally spoke up. She couldn't bear the fact that they were so willing to sacrifice Chibi-Usa's life. "We cannot risk the future of our Solar System." Hotaru turned her head sharply and glared at the older woman. It was extremely rare that Setsuna and Hotaru disagreed, but the look exchanged between them was clear – neither one of them were going change their opinion.

"Setsuna-san is right Usagi-chan," Ami spoke softly as she eyed everyone carefully, "Crystal Tokyo is the path for the most peaceful future. And we need Chibi-Usa chan." Ami frowned slightly as something crossed her mind. 'Peace is worth my happiness. Usagi-chan needs to understand that… but what is peace without happiness?' It was as if she felt something that she had long forgotten, but it wasn't strong enough for her to remember what it is… it had been so long since she had felt it.

"No Usagi-san," Mako frowned in annoyance – she couldn't believe they always tried to make Usagi feel guilty about Chibi-Usa, "you should be happy. No one should be forcing you to do anything you don't want to do. You should fight for your own destiny, not for the one forced upon you."

"She's Neo Queen Serenity! Protecting Earth comes first!" Rei slammed her fists on the table, "We all had to make sacrifices for the sake of peace… that's what being a soldier is!" She started to shake in anger, "We are all soldiers. We fought together, died together, and survived together. And I can't believe you could just dismiss us like this…" Rei was still angry from what Haruka had told them last night.

Michiru caught Rei's eye as the fire senshi glanced over, hoping to gain some support from the Outer senshi. But to her disappointment, Michiru merely shook her head silently. She chose not to voice her opinion since she was conflicted… the wretched cries of Usagi and Seiya on their final night together rang through her head but she also couldn't forget her duty as a senshi as well. Her fingers were still interlocked with Haruka's, although the wind senshi hadn't noticed. In fact, it seemed as if Haruka didn't notice any of the discussion around her… she just felt numb. After she told the others what Usagi had told her, Haruka stared idly at the ceiling without uttering another word. It broke her heart that the Princess she loves and would die to protect could no longer consider her a friend. 'Am I doing the right thing? What am I fighting for? Why am I fighting so hard for…for… for what?' The thought ran through her head over and over again.

During all this, Hotaru had sat back down, leaving Usagi to continue standing by the door. She simply stared at everyone as they spoke. When everyone was quiet once again, Usagi slowly turned to face everyone and she saw it… she saw pain etched on everyone's faces – pain she had caused them. Pain from her bitter attitude, pain from the strained friendships, pain from the conflict between dreams and duty… 'all because of my love for Seiya.' Usagi stood bewildered as she realized how destructive her love had become. Her eyes landed on Mamoru, who bit his lip and avoided her gaze. "I'm sorry." Defeated, Usagi dropped her arms to her side and hung her head, "I will fulfil my duty." She whispered quietly to the floor as tears poured from eyes…

Mamoru was disappointed with her answer. But then again, he realized the toll this year had taken on Usagi – he understood that she had lost hope and that it was no use fighting destiny, just as he too had stopped fighting it long ago. 'I guess this is it then Usako… If this is what you've decided.'

"Usagi-chan…" Mina looked worried at her friend.

It was as if Usagi didn't hear her, "I will see you tomorrow at the wedding." She turned around and ran. For the rest of the day – the last day she was free from her duty – Usagi walked aimlessly around town trying to forget the future that was going to happen starting tomorrow.

****Please review****


	8. Chapter 7

**AN: I got a suggestion that I should write more about the Starlights so here it is! Thanks for the reviews and enjoy :) Hope you like it!**

"Oi Fighter! Wake up!"

Without even opening her eyes, Fighter instinctively smacked the silver-haired senshi who was shaking her violently. The palm of her pale hands made contact with the smooth face of Healer, leaving a huge red mark on the latter's cheek.

Her swollen cheeks didn't hurt as much as her pride since she was caught off-guard with the slap. Usually, Healer was quick enough to avoid any of Fighter's oncoming 'attacks' but today, she was desperate to wake up her comrade that she missed it. Healer rubbed her cheek tenderly, "BAKA! What was that for!?" She was just about to retaliate when Maker placed a hand on her shoulder – the genius senshi was frowning as she looked at the waking Fighter.

Fighter sat up and placed the hand that had slapped Healer on her head, clutching it in agony. "You moron, you gave me a headache from shaking me so hard." Though her words were harsh, Maker noticed her voice was unusually soft. And when Fighter opened her eyes, Maker saw tears were threatening to fall from her unusually dull eyes.

"Don't tell me Healer made you cry?" Maker knew that Fighter wasn't crying because of that… she needed to gauge her friend's reaction though.

"No…" Fighter's voice trailed off as she tried to remember her love's warmth in the dark void.

Maker's frown deepened with Fighter's lack of response. She, like Mina with Usagi, recognized it when Fighter slipped into her thoughts… thinking about the place where she could be with her true love. "You went back there didn't you? Did you see Usagi-san?"

Brought out of her thoughts, Fighter smirked slightly, "Is there anything you don't know?"

'Yea,' Maker admitted to herself, 'I don't know how you ended up in that coma.'

Fighter looked up to see two worried faces of her best friends and quickly decided to change subjects to lighten the mood. "So why is puffy-cheeks here more violent than usual this morning?" She teased at Healer.

Healer had stopped struggling against Maker's grip when she heard Fighter had saw Usagi again and she felt bad for waking Fighter up. But when her friend teased her, she quickly reverted to her cool demeanor and plopped down on the edge of Fighter's large bed. Crossing her arms, she held her nose high and huffed, "I thought I would help you with your problem but I guess I won't now."

Slightly irked with her attitude, Fighter was still curious. She knew how to provoke the silver-haired senshi and get her to reveal whatever it is she had to say without begging, "Fine. Can you not wake me up next time to tell me nothing?" She started to turn away, lifting her blankets to hide the tiny smirk that appeared on her lips. Just as she expected, Healer yanked the blanket off Fighter, determined to get her friend to listen to her. Fighter was secretly proud that she could get what she wanted from Healer with just one sentence. But her smirk faded as fast as it came when she heard the response.

"I found a secret route to the Solar System, one where the Outer senshi won't be able to detect us."

Fighter's expression changed to an unreadable one. Healer held her breath waiting for Fighter's response to the news. No one spoke a word for a few moments.

Maker sighed – she hated not knowing how Fighter would react. She couldn't bear to see what her friend's reaction would be so her eyes wandered around the room for a moment. And for a brief moment, something caught her eye. A piece of red fabric had appeared momentarily by the side of the door that was left open when they barged in. 'That looks suspiciously like Princess Kakyuu's dress.' Maker did not voice her suspicions and continued to wait for Fighter to respond.

"I…" she swallowed the lump that grew in her throat, "…said my goodbyes." Fighter heard Healer and Maker sigh in disappointment, "Odango told me she was getting married tomorrow and I don't think I can live with seeing her get married to someone else, nor will I be able to take her away with me. She has a duty there and nothing I do can change it." Fighter's eyes went blank. "Maybe we saw each other last night because we knew it was going to be the last time for…f-forever. Maybe it was better this way…" She repeated it over and over again as if trying to convince herself that not going to see her would be the right thing to do.

"Better for who?" Healer scoffed, "If you saw her, you would go and rescue her too."

Fighter snapped out of her daze immediately, "You saw her!?" Healer nodded curtly. Excitement from Fighter's voice faded quickly as she composed herself, "I… I can't do anything even if I go. I have a duty here and Princess has forbidden me to visit."

Healer sighed and decided it would best to tell her what Usagi had requested not once, but twice now. "She might kill herself. She asked me when they returned to Earth and the last time I was there, she told me she might do it on her wedding day, which you told me is tomorrow. I know we can't take her away but I thought maybe you could just convince her not to hurt herself." Healer turned to see Maker's questioning look – asking if what she had told Fighter was true. Healer nodded much to Maker's dismay. Returning her attention to the speechless Fighter, Healer placed her fingers under Fighter's chin and tilted it so that midnight blue eyes would meet her bright green ones. Healer's voice was strong and uncharacteristically kind, "I know it will hurt to see her again, but you're the only one who can save her. Her shine is so dim now and you're the only one who can return her light before it goes out completely… Seiya."

"S-She wont…" The panic in Fighter's voice didn't convince anyone, "she promised me that she won't."

"Why are you so stubborn?" Healer was frustrated by how different Fighter had become this past year... she secretly missed her leader's cocky, overconfident attitude.

Healer felt a hand on her shoulder and saw Maker smiling kindly, hoping to calm the silver-haired girl down as the she spoke to Fighter, "Fighter just because you let her go, it doesn't mean that you loved her best. If you truly love someone, never let go – you have to fight for your love. That's what true love is."

Hearing the truth of her friend's words, Fighter succumbed to tears. Fighter finally remembered her old self – the person she was before she entered the dream… the strong leader, the proud Starlight, the cocky Seiya, and most importantly… the person who never gave up. And Usagi was definitely someone she never wanted to give up on. "I want to go. But Princess…"

As if right on cue, Princess Kakyuu waltzed into the room. "Good morning Starlights." Maker noticed that her princess did not refer to them as _her_ Starlights like she usually did. "Fighter…" Princess sat down gracefully on the edge of the bed and pulled the crying senshi in for a hug. "Take a few days off from work." Her heart ached when she saw how depressed Fighter had become and did her best to soothe the girl. Still running her hand down Fighter's back, she turned to speak to Healer who had gotten up to bow to her Princess. "Healer, you can take a few days off too and try to cheer her up any way you can. As for Maker," She turned her attention to the tallest senshi, "I have a few things I need to discuss with you so we'll be busy for the next few days." Princess Kakyuu pulled away from Fighter slightly and cupped her tear-stained cheeks. The fireball princess held back tears and tried to keep her voice strong, "Be happy Fighter."

Princess Kakyuu got up swiftly and proceeded to the door with Maker, but stopped abruptly. "Oh Healer, I want to talk to you about those days you went missing so come see me in a few days." She suppressed a giggle when she saw the terrified look on Healer's face – the silver-haired senshi thought she was in trouble for leaving the planet without permission. "But stay out of mischief until then and…" she sighed, "…and please be careful." She walked out with Maker, leaving a dumbfounded Healer and Fighter.

Shaking her head, Healer quickly composed herself and proceeded to drag Fighter out of bed… they had more important things to worry about. "Come on. Let's go! Get dressed!" She had pulled out a few clothes and threw it unceremoniously at the dazed Fighter, who merely let it drop to the floor.

Fighter continued to stand in the spot where Healer had left her after being pulled out of bed. She was too busy thinking about what would happen when she saw her beloved again.

Healer saw that Fighter hadn't moved at all and stomped back to her. She huffed angrily and muttered, "We don't have much time." She rolled her eyes at her friend's unresponsiveness and grabbed the hem of her silky nightgown and pulled it forcibly over Fighter's head.

"OI!" Feeling the cold seep through her skin, Fighter tried to cover her bare breast while retrieving her clothing from the floor. "W-What are you doing!?" A pink tint grew on her face as Healer stared intensely at her half-naked body.

"You're so thin…" Healer frowned deeply as she remember who else had gotten sickly thin as well, "…just like Usagi-san." She immediately knew her choice of words were a mistake as Fighter's eyes flared jealously.

"You saw her naked!?" Healer was only glad that Fighter was too busy getting dressed to hit her.

"NO!" Blushing, Healer frantically tried to explain herself, "She just looked really frail even in her clothes." Seeing that Fighter had calmed down, Healer couldn't resist teasing her friend, "Not everyone prances around naked like you use to." Growing up together, the Starlights had seen each other naked before, especially when tending to each other's wounds. And Fighter seemed to lack a sense of modesty that the other two had – she never bothered covering up her body when she was naked, as long as she had her panties on.

"Pervert." Fighter smirked, "I know she's beautiful but don't look at my wife that way." She stopped in the middle of buttoning her maroon shirt. The words, _my wife,_ slipped out before she could stop herself.

Healer noticed how depressed Fighter had gotten with just two words and sighed, "Just… hurry up. I'll lead you through the passage so transform into Seiya. Besides, you'll fit better into those clothes if you're a guy." Healer had purposefully pulled out male clothing to get Fighter to transform, hoping it would be excuse enough for Fighter to comply. Healer wanted to prevent Fighter from over-exerting herself with the trip, afraid her friend might collapse from travelling across galaxies. Though less frequent nowadays, Fighter had collapsed several times from exhaustion. Healer was not sure if Fighter had the energy to make it all the way to Earth and being Seiya would prevent him from using his powers.

Not giving it another thought, Fighter transformed into Seiya. He quickly tied his hair in its usual low ponytail and grabbed a hat to hide his unkempt hair, not bothering to brush it. His dress shirt hung loosely on his thin body but he didn't notice – Seiya was stressed and excited at the thought of seeing his Odango again.

"Ok let's go!" Healer and Seiya headed quickly to the courtyard, careful not to be discovered. And in moments, a golden green light streaked past the lilac skies of Kinmouku.

* * *

"Princess," Maker acted as casually as possible but observed the Princess carefully as they walked down the quiet halls of the palace, "You were listening to us weren't you?"

Princess Kakyuu smiled innocently, "I came to get you since we have a few things to discuss. And I just happened to find you three in Fighter's room."

Not receiving the information she needed, Maker continued to ask, "Did you hear…"

"Maker," the princess interrupted and turned to face the tall senshi, smiling kindly, "don't worry." Princess Kakyuu had always chosen her words carefully – she never objected to the Starlights travelling to Earth but made sure that she phrased it so that it sounded like she did, in case anyone happened to be eavesdropping.

As the princess of Kinmouku, she knew when anyone entered or left the planet. That is why she always knew when Healer leaves to visit Earth… and when one of the Sol senshi secretly enters Kinmouku. Princess Kakyuu knew it was the Time senshi who secretly planted the memories of the Silver Millenium in Seiya's mind and it was she who requested that the Starlights no longer returned to Earth. Though she knew she didn't need to heed to requests that were not from the rulers of Earth, Princess Kakyuu did not want to cause conflict between Usagi and her 'friends' or start a fight with the Time Senshi – she had no choice but to oblige. Princess Kakyuu also knew that Pluto had occasionally stopped by to ensure that the fireball princess stood by her words and instructed the Starlights not to return – Pluto was satisfied when she thought Princess Kakyuu had refused Fighter's requests to visit.  
Pluto, like Maker, was too smart and sometimes took things too literally. Usually Fighter would be the first to find loopholes but she was so depressed to notice anything. Princess Kakyuu was glad that Healer learned how to 'bend the rules' when they returned from Earth and understood her hidden message. Princess Kakyuu had considered the consequences if Healer was discovered – Kinmouku would be safe since Pluto believed the princess had nothing to do with the Starlight's return. And as for Healer, if she was discovered, Princess Kakyuu would defend her saying that Pluto was doing the same thing – visiting another planet without the consent of her princess. Princess Kakyuu would only reveal Pluto's actions to Usagi as a last resort. She would do anything to protect Healer but would only tell Usagi the truth if there was no other choice… she didn't want to cause the rift between Usagi and her senshi to grow.

"Princess," although Maker felt relieved with regards to Fighter and Healer leaving Kinmouku, something was bothering her. The fireball princess noticed the sudden seriousness in her Starlight's voice and turned to give Maker her full attention, "I'm also worried about Fighter when she goes to…" Princess Kakyuu quickly shushed her and scanned the hallway for any bystanders. Noticing her companion's peculiar behaviour, Maker decided to rephrase. "I am worried how Fighter will react to Healer's method of encouragement. There is nothing Healer can do to make Fighter forget that she cannot be with Usagi-san. She has a destiny."

The fireball princess responded with a weak smile, "Destiny… is a mysterious thing." Her eyes glazed over as she recalled her past, "I saw my destiny as a princess too and thought I would always be bound to it. But that no longer exists… my Prince was killed when Chaos attacked. We loved each other but only like family, never lovers. Even though it is horrible that he is gone and I miss him terribly, I feel free… free to choose a future that I want."

"Princess, I'm sorry for bringing it up."

She didn't seem to notice Maker's apology, "Perhaps it was fate that led us to the Solar System… fate called Galaxia." Princess Kakyuu found it ironic that an evil force that they fought against could liberate them, "Chaos was the catalyst for changing our destiny… all of our destinies. My destiny was changed so it holds to reason that Serenity's destiny can be changed as well. The difference is that she is not as fortunate as me to have friends who can embrace change so willingly." She sighed gently and turned to look at Maker, "I realize now that we can't live our lives to fit into a future we don't want."

Images of a genius blue-haired senshi appeared in the mind of the tall Starlight. "That's something the Sol senshi should realize." Even after a year, Maker was disappointed by Ami's words – it broke her heart that the girl she loved could be so unsympathetic to a friend. "I just hope Fighter and Usagi don't escape by returning into their dream world, otherwise we'll never save them again."

"We can only hope for the best." Noticing the depressing mood that had developed, Princess Kakyuu changed topics and smiled brightly, "Come on then Maker. We should plan a celebration for when we see them again."

Her optimism was contagious and it made Maker smile in response. Although Maker was hesitant about celebrating, Princess Kakyuu continued before the tall Starlight could dwell on it any further.

"And we'll need to think of a punishment for Healer." Maker smirked at Princess Kakyuu's attempt at an innocent expression.

"I don't ever want to get on your bad side Princess."

The princess giggled, "It'll be fun to scare her! It does help that she thinks she did something wrong."

The two chuckled as they started planning their little scheme for Healer and a party for Fighter.

****Please review**  
**


	9. Chapter 8

**AN: Hey! Thanks for the reviews! Sorry it took so long... work is consuming my life but anyways... Enjoy! ;)**

As she slipped on her wedding gown the next morning, Usagi saw the bride in the mirror. Her golden hair was left down like usual and she wore a thin-strapped long, plain white dress. She covered her face with a thick layer of make-up to hide her puffy eyes and the dark circles – she had not slept at all the night before, sitting by the pond in the park all night thinking about Seiya. She stared at her image in the mirror, but she didn't really see herself. 'I remember I was so excited when I married Seiya.' She closed her eyes and relished the feeling. Being miserable for the past year, Usagi almost forgot what it felt like to be happy. 'This past year was nothing but pain without you Seiya.' Although Usagi knew she shouldn't think about Seiya anymore, she couldn't help it… she loved him too much. Her thoughts always wandered back to Seiya and the life that they shared.

She opened her eyes when someone entered the room. "Usagi-san," Mina and Mako did their best to put on a smile. "You look beautiful."

Usagi's response was mechanical, "Thank you." She gazed out the window behind the mirror and a slight smile formed on her lips, "you should have seen my wedding. It was so romantic." Usagi had never shared it with anyone before but she wanted at least Mina and Mako to know – they had been there for her and supported her. "It was just the two of us on a beach. The sun was setting and the ocean breeze was light. The golden sand was so soft beneath our bare feet. Everything was bathed in a beautiful orange and yellow light and it was so warm." Mina and Mako smiled at how Usagi's face lit up from remembering it. They wanted their friend to feel at least some sort of happiness so they let her continue, "He was so handsome in his white tuxedo and I had on a light gown that just flowed around me, shimmering in the rays of the setting sun." She sighed with content, "We said our vows as the sun began to set. He promised we'd be together for eternity…" Usagi trailed off and quickly wiped away a tear that was starting to fall, "He gave me a silver band that matched the beautiful diamond engagement ring he gave me. He said it suited me… that it was the diamond with the brightest shine." Usagi chuckled at her _husband's_ words. She lifted up her hand as if to examine the ring that was there, but all she saw was her bare hand. "But it wasn't real." She finished bitterly.

Mina and Mako were in tears as they listened to her. They ran to hug her.

Hugging them back, Usagi spoke, "Thank you both for being here for me all this time." She meant every word – Usagi couldn't express how much it meant to her that she still had friends who supported her.

"I'm sorry Usagi-san," Mina cried, "I wish I could have done something more to keep you with Seiya." Mako nodded in agreement.

"It's not your fault." Usagi stroked the back of Mina and Mako's head as they continued to hug her. "You supported me and did your best given the situation." She pulled back the two girls and faked a cheerful voice, "It's time for me to go." She walked swiftly out the door and the two followed after her.

* * *

A shadow had been lurking by the door, just in time to catch the end of the conversation between the bride and her two friends. His heart skipped a beat when he opened the door slightly to find a vision in white. He stood, rooted where he stood, his eyes fixated on his blonde angel… 'There's nothing more beautiful than her in the entire universe.' What he saw took his breath away and he couldn't bring himself to leave, even when he saw the girls break apart from the hug. Before they were seen lurking in the doorway, his companion had quickly dragged him away and they retreated back out to the chapel to wait for the ceremony to begin.

* * *

The music started… it was her cue to enter. Usagi started to walk down the aisle to the melody of the soft harp but her mind drifted to the wedding she'd never forget. Although there was no music during her ceremony on the beach, the sounds of the rolling waves and the voice of her lover's teasing was more than enough. She remembered how the warm sand felt beneath her bare foot. It was nothing like the tight heels she was wearing right now. Her eyes wandered around, lips twitching to smile at the few people in a chapel – it was a small ceremony, consisting primarily of the senshi. But she still preferred the private setting of a beach… much more romantic with just her and the one she loves. The sun was so warm and no one was there to care what they did. 'Silly Seiya tried to act all innocent as he buried my feet in the sand when we first walked out on the beach.' She smiled at the memory. She remembered the way he looked at her… the love in his eyes was surreal and the way he smelled was intoxicating. 'Oh so intoxicating, especially right after our ceremony…' she blushed slightly. 'I wish I could go back.'

Usagi reached Mamoru at the end of the aisle and she smiled at him… well, she smiled at memories of the man she loved. Mamoru had seen all the emotions she showed while she was walking and realized that she had been thinking about the dream. He sighed, wondering if she even noticed what was happening around her. Usagi looked at Mamoru's tired and concerned face, 'I miss your handsome and loving face Seiya.' For a brief moment, she snapped out of her thoughts and her eyes actually focused on Mamoru. Usagi's genuine smile gradually turned into a forced one. She was trying to be positive to make everyone happy, but the bigger her smile got, the more concerned everyone became. They all knew she was just going along with it for their sake… it was their fault she had changed into a lifeless person.

"Tsukino Usagi," Mamoru started to recite his vows. But Usagi wasn't really listening anymore – she was remembering Seiya's vows to her and how the words affected her...still affects her, "I promise to protect you and to build a peaceful future with you. I love you and I hope that we can find happiness together." Mamoru slipped a ring on to Usagi's thin fingers. The girls had gotten it resized so many times since Usagi lost so much weight. He looked up at Usagi to find her staring at the ring he just placed on her fingers. Her expression was unreadable but knew she was lost in her thoughts again. He squeezed her hand lightly, but she didn't respond. "Usagi," he whispered ever so softly. She slowly lifted her head up and saw his face wrought with concern. She blinked and turned her head to find people staring at her. And suddenly she remembered they were in the middle of their ceremony.

"Oh!" She cleared her throat, "Chiba Mamoru, I…" she hadn't written her vows for Mamoru so she was lost for words, 'This is so much harder than last time. It just flowed last time.' She remembered exactly what she had said to Seiya since she still feels the same way about him. 'Seiya "You have always been here for me, protected me, and loved me." Seiya… "You loved me unconditionally…" do you still love me? "I promise I will never leave your side." I'm sorry I had to leave you Seiya.' Tears formed in her eyes, 'we can't be together anymore Seiya. I'm married now.' Usagi hadn't realized that she had spoken parts of it out loud for everyone to hear.

"Oi Odango! How dare you use the same vows?" The words rang loudly in the quiet church hall.

She'd recognize that voice and that nickname from anywhere. 'Am I dreaming?' Usagi, like everyone else, whipped her head around and saw someone standing up near the back of the chapel. This person had his face covered under a black fedora hat. Even in his half-buttoned up maroon dress shirt, it was evident that he was dreadfully thin.

The man lifted his hat off and Usagi saw the smirk she had missed for the past year. She saw the dark blue eyes that twinkled when it looked at her… Seiya was here.

The Outer senshi were shocked by his arrival without their knowledge, but their shock was quickly replaced with concern as they turned to see how Usagi would react.  
Usagi's hand rose to cover her mouth in disbelief, "Seiya…?" her eyes were glimmering with tears as she stared at her one and only love. 'Seiya, I miss you so much.' Usagi was rooted where she stood – thinking that if she moved then the Seiya before her will fade into darkness… as it did so often in her dreams. But after a few moments, Usagi built up the courage to leap down the aisle and fling herself into her _husband's_ very real and open arms. Being in his arms again was the only thing she wished for this past year and the excitement of seeing Seiya made her forget everything and everyone around her… Seiya was all that mattered to her right now.

Seiya spoke into Usagi's golden tresses, "How dare you use the same vows for someone else Mrs. Kou." Usagi chuckled at the name and tears poured down her face.

"I was remembering our wedding. I guess it slipped out." She whispered into Seiya's ears.

"Still haven't learned to keep your thoughts in your head have you?" Seiya pulled her back to look properly at her face. He saw the puffy eyes beneath the make-up but lost himself when he saw the twinkle that had returned to her eyes. "I guess I'll have to keep your mouth shut for you." He leaned in again to kiss her passionately on the lips. Arms still wrapped around his back, Usagi tightened her grip as if afraid he would disappear. Their lips parted when they heard someone clear their throat. Seiya's arms tightened around his _wife's_ waist but he loosened it when he remembered why they were here. Seiya, like Usagi, had forgotten everything when she ran into his arms.

"Sorry," he turned his head and looked at the floor, "I just… I-I wasn't thinking." He decided not to tell them that he returned because he was worried for Usagi's life, "I guess I just wanted to see you one last time from afar but I just couldn't help it when I heard those words." He stepped back and Usagi let go of him.

"I…" she clenched her fist slightly but let it go soon. 'I can't be with him. I promised everyone I would fulfil my duty.' Her whole body fell into a slump as she exhaled deeply, uttering the words no one would expect from her, "I give up." She closed her eyes and thought to herself, 'I do love you Seiya… I love you so much that it hurts. I don't want to let you go but I have to because in the end, we won't be together.' She fell to her knees and cried loudly into her hands as her heart was finally consumed by darkness – she had finally lost all hope of being with her true love.

"Seiya…" Yaten finally stood up from beside Seiya's vacant seat. He was observing Usagi closely, as if trying to find something. But his expression quickly turned to one of horror when he couldn't find what he was looking for. "Seiya… her light… i-it's-it's…" He couldn't hide the fear in his voice… he couldn't believe had just happened.

Seiya turned to see Yaten's horrified look as the latter continued to stare at the crying girl, unable to pull his eyes away from her. Engulfed in darkness caused by his loneliness from being away from Usagi, Seiya had been having troubles sensing other's light. Nevertheless, he closed his eyes to concentrate, trying to find Usagi's light himself. But when he found none, he became terrified. "This is all my fault… I shouldn't have come." Seiya thought that if he had not appeared before her, Usagi wouldn't have broken down like that and her light of hope would not have faded away completely. "This is all my fault…" he repeated again as he started to back away. 'I can't be with her… she isn't mine to take care of anymore.' These words rang in his head as he turned and ran away.

"She needs you Seiya!" Yaten shouted after Seiya as he bolted for the exit; he never expected his friend to run away. From the corner of his eye, he noticed that a senshi had chased after his friend. But when he was just about to go after them, Yaten felt a small hand rest on his arm.

He turned around to see Mina staring at the people who had just ran out the chapel, "Wait, I think everything will work out."

Looking at her curiously, Yaten responded, "How do you know? Usagi's having a breakdown and Seiya just ran off with _her_ chasing after him." Although brutally honest, his tone lacked his usual brashness.

Mina finally peeled her gaze away to face Yaten. "Just a feeling…" She smiled kindly at the confused Yaten, "If it doesn't, we can go after them. But for now… I guess I'm just hoping for the best."

Somehow, he believed her words – It soothed him. Yaten whispered back, "Me too…" He lowered his arms to his side but not before grabbing Mina's hands in his own, holding on to her tightly yet gently. "I hope… for the best too." Without thinking, Yaten added, "It's good to see you again Mina. It's been a long year." The two smiled lovingly at each other for a brief moment then looked at the people by the exit again… waiting for what would happen next.

****Please review****


	10. Chapter 9

**AN: Hi! Thanks for the reviews! Please enjoy the new chapter!**

"Seiya, wait a moment." A loud voice echoed through the wedding hall. Seiya turned to see Mamoru walking towards him.

"Mamoru-san." Although the pain was still evident on his face, Seiya forced a smile, "Sorry for interrupting your wedding. I won't bother you two again." He paused for a moment and added, "Please take care of her." With one last glance, he resumed his sprint for the door.

"He told you to wait." Haruka had bolted after him. Being the wind senshi, no one could outrun her. She held tightly onto his shoulder, nails almost digging into his pale skin, "Just listen to him." Her voice was uncharacteristically kind, especially when directed at Seiya.

Mamoru walked up to the two and sighed, "I think I hate you for coming between Usako and me," He held up his hand to silence Seiya as the latter tried to speak. "But I think I'll hate myself even more if I force her to marry me."

The two stared at each other for a while – Mamoru was patiently waiting for Seiya to comprehend his words. He watched as Seiya's pained expression slowly turned into a confused one, "What…?"

Haruka's grip on Seiya's shoulder loosened as she felt his body relax. Mamoru sighed, "Usako has isolated herself and it hurts me to see her in so much pain." When Seiya had shouted out during their ceremony, Mamoru had clearly seen how Usagi's eyes sparkled when she saw him. Mamoru knew then, that the mere sight of Seiya brought life back to her. "I just want her to be happy." It was also then that he decided that he would be the one to 'force' Usagi to choose the future she desires… after all, Usagi was never one to consider herself when others were involved.

"But what about her duty as a princess?" His eyes shifted to Haruka, who looked away.

Haruka sighed, "It was difficult not having Usagi-san as a friend." Her cheek turned slightly pink. "Even if I have to see you from now on, at least I know she'll be happy." From the previous day, Haruka finally realized that the future they were forcing on to Usagi would never be the same if she wasn't happy. Haruka decided that even if their future wasn't a peaceful one, as long as the senshi believed in each other, they will always win… like they always have.

"We'll manage." Mamoru turned around to face Usagi and he smiled, "we always do."

Everyone had seen how Haruka and Mamoru went after Seiya but no one else had interfered. They had all assumed that if Mamoru was involved, then nothing they say or do will help with the matter. But since they remained in the hall, they could not hear what the three were talking about. It was not until Hotaru saw Mamoru smile that she tapped the crying blonde to catch her attention. Usagi looked up to see Hotaru nodding in Mamoru's direction; she stopped crying and turned to face Mamoru. 'What happened?' Her eyes landed on Haruka next and the tall wind senshi nodded with a slight smile. Realization dawned on her, '…They're allowing us to be together…?' A huge grin spread across her face and her eyes lit up as she picked up her dress and ran towards her love. She pounced on him and kissed him passionately as he landed on his back. Though it hurt him, Seiya wasted no time in wrapping his arms around her to hold her on top of him.

Mamoru smiled at the couple on the floor. He was glad to see that Usagi had returned to her usual bubbly self. He turned around and headed back into the hall to announce to everyone that they were no longer going to wed.

Haruka was also glad to see Usagi look alive again. She chuckled slightly as she watched Usagi leap on to Seiya and fall to the ground. But after a few moments, she tried to catch their attention. "Um…" they didn't hear her and continued to kiss. She cleared her throat loudly.

"Can you two not do that? At least not while I'm still here." She blushed and turned away.

Seiya and Usagi's lips parted as they giggled at Haruka's embarrassment. Usagi got up and slowly slipped her arms around Haruka's waist.

"Thank you Haruka-san." She whispered into her chest. Haruka felt the blonde's petite body up against her and hugged back.

"Sorry it took me so long to realize Koneko-chan." Relieved that Usagi had not rejected the use of that nickname, Haruka smiled and held her tighter. The light and warmth that had disappeared this past year returned as Usagi accepted her apology, restoring their friendship. Haruka pulled back to look Usagi in the face, "Promise me one thing though." Usagi looked curiously at her. "Promise that you won't do that with him in front of me again." Haruka smirked as Usagi blushed furiously and nodded.

The senshi back in the hall had witnessed everything between Seiya, Usagi and Haruka and understood that Haruka had accepted Seiya and Usagi's love for one another. Mina, Mako, Michiru, and Hotaru were so moved that they succumbed to tears. Michiru was especially proud of her lover – she knew how difficult it was for Haruka to accept an uncertain future, particularly one with an outsider.

Seiya wrapped his arms around Usagi's shoulder and Haruka walked beside the couple as they entered the hall. Usagi gestured to Mamoru to come and speak with them. He walked up to them and after a few moments of discussion, they nodded and Usagi faced the senshi. "Mamoru-san and I have decided to rule together, not as husband and wife, but as friends." She beamed at him and he nodded, "No matter what happens, we'll still be here to protect everyone."

A small voice interrupted, "But Crystal Tokyo… our destiny…" Now that Mamoru and Haruka had given the two their blessing, they all knew their destiny had changed. But Rei couldn't stop herself from voicing her concerns.

Mamoru had expected it, he responded kindly, "There is nothing worse than being trapped in a destiny that you don't want." Usagi eyed Rei from the corner of her eye. She wanted to see how Rei would take the news and how much she could trust the fire senshi in the future. Mamoru continued, "Destiny gives us purpose in our lives. But once we realize that destiny can be changed, it is nothing more than an illusion. We are only bound to it because of our inability to accept diversions. No one wants to head into an unknown future; it scares me too. But we can't hold on to a future that no one wants anymore. We never know what other opportunities we may have if we blindly follow one path and forsake all other. We need to accept the fact that perhaps the unknown may be better. If we are all together, united, I have no doubt that our future will still be peaceful." He turned to Usagi and encouraged her to speak up.

"Believe in me again... have hope." Was all she could say. Mamoru had already told them everything that she wanted to say.

_Hope_ – the word rang through everyone's minds. It was something that was lost to them ever since Usagi's light started to fade. But now that she was radiating warmth with Seiya by her side, they all felt and remembered what it meant to have hope.

As they looked around to see if anyone would disagree, Usagi noticed that Rei had pursed her lips as if she was told not to speak. She sneakily looked up at Haruka and saw the wind senshi stare down at the fire senshi, daring her to speak.

Ami placed a hand on the fire senshi's forearm. "Everything will be alright Rei. We have to trust her like we did before." So wrapped up in fulfilling their destiny, Ami had forgotten to trust Usagi's heart. It was almost as if she was using hard logic to fill the emptiness from the loss of Usagi's light of hope. But seeing Usagi full of life again, feeling the warmth radiate from the happy girl, it was as if Ami's guarded heart had once again saw hope in believing her dreams – it restored the feeling of hope that she had neglected in her pursuit of peace… hope for a future full of dreams and romance. She didn't know where to begin to beg for forgiveness, but she was willing to do anything now. Ami had truly missed being a friend to Usagi.

Setsuna was weeping silently at the loss of Chibi-Usa. She slowly disappeared to the Time Gates to mourn. It would be a while before anyone saw her again.

"Ne Odango," Seiya whispered, "I have to go." She looked at him inquisitively as she noticed the urgency in his voice. He smiled sheepishly and answered her unspoken question, "Yaten smuggled me out of Kinmouku." Usagi rolled her eyes but followed her _husband_ out the hall as he dragged her.

Once they were outside, she asked, "Why did you guys have to sneak away?"

"Apparently Princess Kakyuu was told not to let us visit so she never let me come." He stopped in his tracks and frowned. "I'm not sure who requested that of her but I guess it doesn't matter now." He shrugged and smiled at Usagi.

Usagi had an idea of who might've spoken to Princess Kakyuu but Seiya was right… that wasn't important to her anymore. She was finally with Seiya – that was all that mattered now.

"I wasn't planning on coming. But I'm glad I did." He caressed her face softly, feeling every curve that he had missed so much. She closed her eyes to feel his touch and listen to him as he continued talking, "Healer convinced me to come. Now that I think about it, I think Healer was plotting a secret route to Earth all those times she disappeared. We could never find her for hours but then she came to me when I saw you in the dream, she woke me and told me of a passage that leads into and out of Earth undetected by your senshi. She was so proud," Seiya smirked at remembering Healer's arrogant face when she had told him.

"How many times did he come here?" Usagi knew Yaten was up to something the day she saw him in the park but never thought much about it since his explanation was sound. "I only saw him once."

"No idea." Seiya shrugged, "I'm pretty sure she got caught a few times by your Outer senshi. She had a few unexplainable bruises once in a while." Seiya couldn't help but appreciate Yaten's eagerness to help them. Although they always fought, they would still do anything to help one another.

"He's a good friend." Usagi had noticed Seiya's smile and knew that he was thinking of how good a friend Yaten is – she couldn't help but agree. "So shall we head back to Kinmouku then?" She smiled brightly at him as he nodded. 'Life is going to be perfect from now on.'

They heard footsteps approach from the chapel and the two turned to see Yaten and Mina heading towards them. Seiya couldn't help but notice the smug look on Yaten's face.

"You're welcome Sei~ya~chan~" The girls giggled as Seiya stuttered a response.

"T-than… Well I guess you did well for once." He would thank him later… when Yaten wasn't so proud of himself. And besides, he could never lose a chance to tease his friend. 'I'll never hear the end of it' he thought to himself. Seiya smirked as he saw Yaten's frustration.

"You owe me one." But to everyone's surprise, Yaten didn't argue any further. "We should head back." He turned to Mina, "You're coming with me right?"

Mina noticed a hint of worry in his voice… almost as if he was afraid that she might not return with him. "Of course! Nowhere else I'd rather be!" She shouted cheerfully and clung tightly on to Yaten's arm.

He didn't mind the pain, in fact, Yaten was happy that she was going to be by his side… he would never let her go either.

Seiya and Usagi were so happy for their friends. Remembering Mina's words when they first returned, Usagi was glad that both of them could find happiness as they follow their dreams.

As they soared off into space, a pair of eyes followed the light that shot across the sky, 'I hope you'll both be as happy as I remember you were… Papa, Mama.' A boy with short dark blue hair and bright cerulean eyes vanished into the air as he watched his parents start their lives together… again.

****Please review****

**Hm... I think I'll do an epilogue to explain a few things but I hope you liked this story! **


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